Ladies and gentlemen of the Royal Society,
Today I come to report on my experimentation with a new innovation born of the mad lights of obsessive meat science, the chicken sausage.
Some consider this a perversion of all that is sacred in the noble sausage, and with this series of experiments I have discovered that these commentators are mostly correct. They stick to the pan and have an unhealthy aspect. Sausages are pork for a reason, and our ancestors were correct.
Yours,
Dr SL, FRS, GC and bar