Choosing a Mastodon server isn't like choosing an email provider, because, back when email was new and unfamiliar, you didn't choose. You just got given a mailbox by your university or employer or ISP.

By the time that independent email providers were really taking off, you had clear, concrete reasons for your choice, such as price (Hotmail), brand recognition (Yahoo!), features (GMail). But Mastodon servers all look kind-of the same, so how do you select one?