Chris Ellis @intrbiz@bergamot.social

Wanted: a patched phone operating system which instead of having permissions for apps returns them all random data, unless I have allowed them access to the real thing.

Randomly generated address books, location coordinates, WiFi network names, picture folders full of noise, battery levels that fluctuate wildly.

Fucking poison the data gathering well. Make it looks pretty realistic. My phone has enough storage and compute to create realistic looking names and telephone numbers. Let the advertisers think I'm traveling back and forth on the Orient express.

Huge news, we’re launching 6 new products today!

pgFlustered — for understanding Postgres errors
pgCustard — a monitoring and alerting service
pgBusted — repairs corruption
pgDuster — tunes autovacuum
pgRusted — convert functions to PL/Rust
pgKetchup — for replication lag issues